Reinvented

Hey what’s up hello! Welcome back to the blog! AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! I’ve missed you so much and I hope you’re doing well! Fair warning, I get real in this one! But then again, I get real in every post so what’s new?

I’m the kind of person that usually thrives off of a new year.  A new year for me is nothing more than a fresh start; a chance to draw that line and say, “Last year is in the past, this year is going to be different.” I’m one to daydream about the possibilities a new year holds months before it actually starts. I set new year resolutions and goals. Yes, I am that person. But picture this: It’s 3 days before the new year, you’re excited, you’re hopeful, you’re expecting great things in the new decade. 2 days before the new year, nothing has changed – still carrying that hope, daydreaming about all the possibilities 2020 holds. 30 more minutes. 3 – 2 – 1 – It’s the new year! You sit down to actually think about your resolutions… but you got nothing. You put it off a few more days… but still nothing. Next thing you know it’s February and you haven’t even opened your planner. HA. HA. HAAA. Oops. Well that was me this year. COMPLETE. SHOCK. Girl, what you doing?! 

This year didn’t start off the way I thought it would. I started emotionally, mentally and physically burnt out from the last 3 months before, leaving absolutely no room for dreams and goals and plans to be put into effect. I didn’t have a vision. I wasn’t motivated. I wasn’t passionate about anything. And I didn’t know why or how I got to be this bad. But I find it so beautifully orchestrated that even in the midst of the chaos, God still remains and presents himself to us so powerfully in such unique ways. We can feel alone, broken, insecure, and in the dark and still be able to locate He who comforts, who restores, who brings confidence and security! He who is Light. How? Through a simple melody intertwined with creative harmonies and lyrics. Through the embrace of a friend. Through the words from a book. Through nature. Through the simple act of Selah (Pause and reflect). We must sift through the noise, the distress and the negative and find His still small voice and follow the peace. In those moments of complete vulnerability and surrender (and trust me when I say there were a lot of those moments), I was able to tune in with the voice of God and he would speak such beautiful revelations. But we will save most of those for another post. Today, I want to focus in on one key thing. I was in my room just sitting there completely depressed, and then He whispered something so simple, yet so powerful and intruiging. “Reset. Reinvent.”

Reset. Reinvent. Hmmm. What do you mean by that, God?

I then entered into this state of reflection and thought about what I was doing wrong for God to have said that I needed to reinvent myself. Why was I depressed? Why did I lack vision, motivation and inspiration? What made me lose my passion? What was it about myself that I needed to change. But then it hit me. It wasn’t necessarily changing who I am or the things I was doing, but more so just doing things differently, starting with my perspective. I’ve come to realize that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. Perspective is so powerful. Most of my stress and anxiety came from my perspective of the situation and the negative way I responded to it. If I adjusted my attitude, then all the extra stress would be gone. A lot of crap happened in 2019. But with each situation, I learned that there are 2 ways to be happy: you can either change the situation or change your mindset towards it. The way I saw it, I couldn’t change what happened or what was happening, but I knew I could control my perspective on it. Instead of thinking, “Why me, God? Why is this happening to me?!” I thought, “Thank you, God.” I thanked God for getting me through the storm because I knew He would use this testimony to ultimately bring glory and power to His name. I remembered that flowers need water to grow, and after this storm passes, I will have gained a whole garden from it. And with that garden, I can give out and share the flowers with people, hopefully bringing some joy or hope or light into their lives. Maybe even a simple smile. But I knew that I can share my testimony in hopes it brings encouragement to another’s situation.  

Praise God for that reminder, Amen?! But I wasn’t done. There was more that needed to be learned.

So God, why do I lack vision and passion and motivation? How can I reset myself and reinvent myself once again? 

Lack of inspiration, vision, motivation and passion were my catalysts for change. I learned that opposition doesn’t mean Gods rejection or Gods absence, but rather a chance for growth. It means you’re on the right track. It’s just another opportunity to seek the Lord and allow for Him to sustain you. I connected the dots and thought about how every year I start off inspired but this year I didn’t. Why? This was my opposition. This was my wake up call. My chance to lean in and reinvent. I realized that for so long, a lot of my motivation or inspiration or passion was heavily weighted more from the opinions and/or ideas of others. I lost sight of keeping those things rooted and grounded in Christ. I worried about what people thought or expected from me and did what I could to make myself look better and be better for them. I lived my life for people, totally forgetting to pour into myself and fill myself back up with the love and grace of God. I would take what people would say about how my life was suppose to be or look like and let that control me and my actions, totally disregarding the promises God had for me. I lost sight of the original intentions behind what it was I did. It wasn’t the things I was doing, but the heart behind what I was doing that needed to be reinvented. Going to church every Sunday became a chore, doing what we did for ministry became a burden, writing blog posts became an inconvenience, loving on people and carrying the light of Christ was something I was created to do, but soon became  such a big struggle. The list goes on and on. But enough was enough and I grew tired of that mindset. It says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 how we must “destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ . (ESV)” So that’s exactly what I did. I released false expectations I created for myself, I released the lies that these beautiful things that God has called me to do were burdens or struggles, and I changed my perspective once again and refocused and reconnected my passions and my callings to the heart of the Father. I reinvented myself.

God said, “Reset. Reinvent.”

So I humbly responded, “Nevertheless, at your word, I will.”

Maybe that’s you. Maybe you need to take a few steps back to reset or reinvent yourself. Maybe you are like me and are going through such a difficult season and you’re looking for an answer. As cliché as it is, God is the answer. And when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. Reinvent yourself in a way where you’re not changing yourself, but rather reinventing your perspectives, your motivations, and your reasons. Go back to how God originated your life to be. Go back to the basics. Go back to His promises. Go back to God.

Through this one moment of vulnerability and surrender unto God, He was able to unlock and unleash all of this untapped potential within me. I have gained this new Godly perspective on a bunch of different things. However, I’m not done growing! I’m still working on these things and I know I have a lot more room for growth. But I have received so many revelations and I’m so excited to share with you what God has been telling me through every situation I am able to endure. So with that being said, be sure to subscribe to my blog! All you need is a name and an email address and you’ll receive a notification every time I post something new! I really hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know how your 2020 started! Did you start off strong or were you like me and a total hot mess? Leave me a comment below or feel free to email me directly! I’d love to get to know you more and walk alongside you this new year! Send me your praise reports or prayer requests! We are a family here and we will get through anything together! As always, thank you for the support! Until next time, lovebug! Xoxo