Don’t Clap Back

How to properly respond to negative people

Hello and what’s good party people?! Welcome back to zee blog! I hope you had an amazing February! I know I did! Here is a quick recap for those interested… AND… GO! So, A LOT has happened and I praise God everyday for the life I live and the blessings I have received. God has spoken so loudly and so clearly in so many different occasions. Some of my insecurities were addressed and dealt with, the alignment of my passions and purpose with God’s plans for my life were confirmed, and the path I’m on has been blessed in more ways than one. All in all, it truly has been a great month. However, it hasn’t been just sunshine and rainbows. There are inevitably going to be some storm clouds that will try and rain on your parade. But that’s why it’s important to remember that behind the clouds, the sun is still shinning. Rise above the storm and you’ll find the sunshine once again.

You’re probably wondering what “storm” I’m talking about. Well, let me explain a little more. Has anyone ever talked about you behind your back? Said things that were hurtful or were not true? Put you in the center of their gossip sesh with their fellow gal pals? I know… silly question! You’re probably like, “Duuh Meesh. OF COURSE!” Lol! It happens to everyone and whether we will agree to this or not, we have all been guilty of gossip in some way, shape or form. I know I have! I’m not proud of it at all, but we are all sinners saved by grace and God’s grace is sufficient.

About 6 months ago, I found out that a few people I thought we’re people I could trust made me the center of their “venting sesh.” Okay, first of all, Hi. My name is Misha. I am you’re friend. Just a little truth for ya… Just because you’re venting to a fellow sister or brother in Christ doesn’t mean you’re not gossiping. You don’t get that “get-out-of-jail-free” card. There is a very fine line between venting and gossiping. I’m not saying all venting is bad. Sometimes venting is necessary, but only if you want to find a solution to your problem. If you’re venting without any intentions of fixing the situation, then you’re gossiping, simple as that. Like I said, I have been guilty of gossiping. It’s very difficult for me to admit but I’ve been there and I’m not proud of it at all. However, I am proud of the woman I’m becoming. I am who I am today because of where I’ve been! Can I get an Amen???!!!

Anyways, fast forward to 2019, I found out yet again that I have been the center of someones gossip sesh with their gal pals. My initial thought was, “Daaaaaang I’m popular. People just looooooove talking about me, huh?” Or I said, “Geesh, my life must be veryyyy interesting to be the center of someones gossip sesh again!” I even said, “Psh, go ahead and keep talking behind my back and watch God keep blessing me in front of your face!” HAHAHAHA!

I learned that sometimes you just gotta make a joke about it and laugh! Lol, I’ve actually learned a lot of things from both situations. The first time 6 months ago, I responded soooo immaturely. I was angry, upset, hurt, frustrated, insecure, I doubted who I was as a person, I blamed myself, I beat myself up… I allowed for the negative to overtake me and responded with the same hate that group of ladies gave out. But now, I am proud to say that I responded in a much better way the second time around. I wasn’t hurt, I wasn’t surprised, I felt sorry for that person, and I moved on. I know that I am a daughter of God, I know that I am formed by God’s hands, I know that I was dreamt up in His heart, and I was placed in this world for a purpose. Not everyone is gonna be happy with me 100% of the time, and that’s okay. It is out of my control. I can’t control what they say about me, but I can control how I respond because I know who I am and how God sees me.

“Your ancestors have also been taught, ‘Take an eye in exchange for an eye and a tooth in exchange for a tooth.’ However, I say to you, don’t repay an evil act with another evil act. But whoever insults you by slapping you on the right cheek, turn the other cheek to him as well.”

Mark 5:38-39 (TPT)

ANNNND that leads to the title of this blog! DON’T. CLAP. BACK. (Also – if you’re from my parents generation, don’t worry I had to explain to them too. “Clap Back” is millennial for “fight back” basically!) Ladies, when another gal talks bad about you for no reason at all, don’t be quick to clap back. Instead, pray for them. She probably sees something in you that she doesn’t see in herself. Confidence is silent and insecurity is loud. Usually people talk behind your back because they either can’t reach your level or they don’t have what you have. If someone is hating on you, don’t quit or give up. They will go after your character because they see you as some kind of threat or want to be where you are. Basically, they are insecure and unhappy with themselves so don’t stoop to their level and respond with the same immaturity they are putting out. People who usually gossip about you are just trying to find the faults in your life because they don’t want to face their own faults. If they can’t privately talk to you about what’s bothering them, then their act of public criticism about you behind your back is just because they need attention. Therefore, we shouldn’t take what they say personally. Understand that we can’t treat people like garbage and worship God at the same time. So as difficult as it will be, when someone talks bad about us, we just have to continue to pour out unconditional love on them. We cannot respond with the same hate they are giving out. One thing that I’ve been trying to do better is bringing my garbage to God and praising Him through it instead of talking to everyone around me about it. I thank God for negative situations because it’s a chance for me to grow and for me to love someone like Christ loves us, for me to shine light and be an example. My dad told me that when someone talks about you, it’s like they are slinging mud at you. And when people sling mud at you, find the gems in the mud. Basically, take some time to self reflect, acknowledge where you may fall short in the situation, grow, and ultimately, turn the negative situation into a positive one.

Long story short, let them judge you. Let them misunderstand and criticize you. You can’t control that. Their opinions cannot be your problem and they shouldn’t affect you! You stay kind and compassionate, you continue to love others like Christ loves you, and be free in your authenticity! Be you and do you without apologizing for it! No matter what someone says to you or about you, don’t doubt your worth or your beauty. Keep shinning!

BOOM.
MIC. DROP.

Haha! WHELP! There you have it folks! I hope you found encouragement in todays post! If you did, please let me know by leaving a comment below! If you feel like there is someone out there who will benefit from my past experiences, feel free to pass it on to them through email. OR, you can totally share it on your social media accounts if you want… wink wink… AHAAAAA!! Also, just wanted to give a huge mahalo to braddah braids for taking my pictures for me! Love you bro! lol!! I love you all so much!! Thanks for reading and supporting me! Until next time, love bug!